I feel.. love.

Long long time ago I was young and I thought to myself, that’s enough for you my dear, love was never for you and you were never meant to be loved or be with someone.

When I was younger, I thought to myself that I have been through pretty much pain already and that was enough and life would never be the same anymore; that sooner or later I would give up on myself and just live the days till I die.. alone.

But I grew up, I grew up and I knew that life is more than just being in pain or going through pain even from the nearest people, that love is just more than a feeling and definitely more than just being together.

I grew up and I went through a disturbed teenage stage, and I went through tough times from ups and downs to whatever comes to your mind, but it hit me in the most delicate way that I now know I grew up and still growing up. I knew life is more than just problems and situations that made me feel bad about myself, and that I am more than just me.

I grew up and I feel different, look different, talk different.

I grew up and I found out that I could love again even though I lost hope.. I still have the fear of living alone and that I’ll never have a life companion.. but I have embraced it and for now I love the moment.

I found out that love isn’t just a word, a look, a feeling, a touch or even a kiss. I found out That love is a responsibility, a life, and that it’s more than just physical feeling. It’s more of two souls fitting together.. two souls becoming one.

I feel okay being loved and to love someone.

I feel okay giving love another chance.

I feel okay having someone by my side without being paranoid.

I feel okay living and giving. 

I feel.. Love.

• Hala K. Gomaa